Dear reader,

I am writing this entry as a long overdue letter of appreciation to my mother; however, if you are a mom or the daughter of one, I am hoping this resonates with you and allows you to delight in the Lord through the gift of being seen and understood.

Where I live, it is approximately 2 in the afternoon and I am sitting on the sofa of my new home with a head full of greasy hair, extremely unshaven legs, an oily face, calloused feet, and hands that have been sucked dry of moisture because I spent the morning cleaning all the bathrooms and finishing up a sink full of dishes. As I consider how to express what I feel, I hear the slow roll and click of a load full of laundry holding clean towels and bedsheets that will lay in an all too ordinary position in about an hour. By ordinary, I am referring to the fact that the space will look exactly the same as it always has, yet a day’s worth of work will have been put into making sure we live in a home that is preserved in cleanliness and for proper functionality.

Now, one of the many gifts of being a newlywed is that my wonderful husband is keen to come home, after spending several hours at work, to praise my efforts in caring for our home. He notices that the space is tidy. He notices my tired eyes as I smile joyfully anticipating the look of a job well done on a meal I’ve only recently learned how to prepare. Then, his wish is to hear every detail of my day so as to soak in what there is to appreciate about my role. In those moments, in all of God’s kindness, He reveals to me exactly what it feels like to be genuinely seen… and just how unknowingly selfish I was as a young girl in my home.

What I have experienced in the last 3 weeks is but a fraction of the role of a wife, and but a decimal of the role of a mother, yet by God’s grace, I feel that I have been granted a world of perspective. I’ve tasted mornings when that shower I wanted just didn’t fit with the demands of the day. I’ve dappled with afternoons where lunch was the granola bar I ate for breakfast, or when that time I wanted to have to sit and write on Friday happened Monday… 3 weeks later. I’ve felt the enemy try to convince me that resting is sinful, yet the work that I’ve done wasn’t valuable anyways. How often has my mother felt every last one of these things? How often has she bought into the lie that her work is not significant or that her efforts are not worthy of praise? …How often did I complain that if I had chicken for dinner “one more time” I was going to lose my mind?

There has been no greater gift than becoming a wife. I get to live God’s design for marriage and relish in the joy of purpose-filled work. Life feels so much more full, yet it is sanctifying, hard work. It requires a new level of selflessness, and more patience and grace, not only for my husband but for myself. I feel a greater sense of dependency on the Lord and talk to Him often for strength. I’ve learned this role of mine is not about working for praise, because one day all too soon, when life gets busy and more complicated, that won’t always be the first thought for my husband when he comes home… just as even now I must do better at praising him for his unseen efforts. No, it is not about working for praise, but for the glory of God. We merely benefit from a life of serving the Lord and submitting ourselves to His will for our days. I choose to honor God by keeping the house clean, and this doubly serves my husband. Our marriage is kept and protected by our love for Jesus first, then one another.

So it was God’s will for my mother (and father, but speaking to what I personally know as a woman following in her steps). She stepped up and sacrificed all parts of her life to serve the Lord, which blessed her family. She likely neglected many showers, missed many meals, and praised the Lord for the many ways you can make chicken for dinner. She worked for no praise, but probably felt so empowered when my dad or my brother or myself recognized how well she loved us. And I just know her heart is beaming when she gets calls from me now as I am shell-shocked that I have to think of cleaning the underside of couch cushions or when I am in desperate need of recipes because I don’t know what else to do with chicken.

Long story short, I appreciate my mother. I am so grateful for all she has done for me and to have the opportunity to love her better and better as the Lord continues to shape me as a wife, and one day, a mom. Please share this post if you feel that you relate or need to be more mindful about praising your mom for the wonder of a woman she is! I am sure of this, you never get too old for encouragement… perhaps, you begin to need it more and more!

July 1, 2024